Contact Colleen by email colleen.guskjolen@gmail.com
September 01, 2008
What’s been on my heart….
My heart has been on my family, more precisely my son, Joshua.
About 2 weeks ago I felt very strongly to fast for 3 days. In the midst of the fast I had some very special and specific things I felt the Lord wanted me to pray through.
One of those areas was for my son---Joshua. He is a grown man, and has his life with his family, Tyla his wife and Taija-Lynn their beautiful 10 month old daughter. Everything looks like it’s going well. But in my heart I knew he was struggling with his employment. It has been extremely oppressive and very trying for him. On the onset of this work I felt that it wasn’t going to be easy.
My mother’s heart had agonized every day that he was on the job, and I knew that something needed to change. My only and best resource is the Father. He knows all things and he answers prayer for our kids. When Mom’s pray…Satan look out…all hell is going to break lose. And it did. I spent those days in fasting and prayer, praying very diligently and specifically for Joshua. I prayed for a release from this job, and I prayed the Father would make a way for the destiny on his life.
Just this past week, Josh knew a change was needed. He started looking for work in the realms that would facilitate his life’s passion. We prayed again that the Lord would guide his footsteps and provide for him. He needs to work, he is a husband and a father and there is little room for down time. Within 5 days of looking, the Lord so directed his steps, he was hired for a job right on the spot that was within the realm of his desires and eventual destiny.
Josh pursued and I prayed. What a team!
From this I want to share several things that I have learned.
1. Do not give up…God has invited us into a relationship with him so we trust him with everything…even the impossible. It looked impossible that anything in Josh’s life was going to change. But God is faithful to pursue us and get us where he wants us to be, and he invites us (Moms) to be in agreement with him.
2. Do not be weary in well doing, especially when you see nothing happening. It’s easy to just to think I guess the Lord didn’t want this or that to happen. But I believe he fills us with such a passion and a knowing in our hearts what he does want and until we see it come to pass we can’t lay that prayer down.
3. What’s in it for me?...A great reward of seeing the Lord work in my son’s life. It was such an honor to rejoice with him when he phoned and said” Mom & Dad guess what?” We knew the Lord had answered our most specific and simple prayers. He is the God of details and he doesn’t miss one.
4. My joy is knowing that when I feel far away from Josh physically, God uses those times in prayer to help me feel close to him and helps me feel that I am still an effectual Mom and blessing to his life and to the life of his family.
Before Josh was born the Lord gave us the promise that he would be a great blessing to us. God has made this happen over and over again. I am so blessed to be his Mom and I am blessed to be a child of God. For all Mom’s reading this, take heart…we will see the destiny on our children’s lives if we pursue the Lord. Our prayers are more powerful than all the words we can ever share.
Keep this on your mind today!!
Colleen --- a happy Mom!
July 31, 2008
What’s on YOUR mind?
Let me tell you what’s on MY mind…
…I am angry! Yes you read it correctly angry! Why you ask?
I am angry because I am lied to by the enemy and I often believe the lies.
I am angry that the enemy tries to torments me with half truths of scripture and I lack knowledge of scripture thus bringing a distortion of truth in my life.
I am angry that people all over the world are sick and dying needlessly.
I am angry that due to the lack of parental care at times & lack of godly education , our girls are losing their virginity to just anyone who will take it; and at very early ages. Then they have an abortion to rid themselves of any pregnancy that may result.
I am angry that women and men who suffer emotional and verbal abuse in their relationships; hide it and suffer the shame of its existence.
I am angry that we have at our disposal the power of God and his Word and yet we feel so weak and undone to take authority over our adversary.
I think you get my point….more than just being angry I am suffering with righteous anger. There are some injustices in our world that I don’t have any control over.
There are some things I mentioned that make me angry that I can not resolve. It’s only God that can intervene and move in these realms.
However, we do have “everything we need for life and godliness”. We do have answers for our personal lives and for the lives of others if they are willing to receive it.
There is hope, and my position is to stay in the Word, stay in prayer, and be on guard against all the strategies of the enemy.
My challenge to you as from the Lord is Philippians 4:8 ---and then in Isaiah 26: 3. These scriptures talk specifically from the Lord about our mind. We know the enemy wants our minds and he wants to keep us anxious and doubting and without desire for the Word.
I am taking a strong stand in my personal life to regain ground and dig into God’s word, memorize it and keep what is good, pure, peaceable, noble etc. in my mind.
We can not afford to give away what the Lord has given to us. We do have everything we need for life and godliness (II Peter 1:3), our position is to live it!
June 18 (part 2)
A day out of the city…
Last week James and I had the privilege of traveling outside of Panama City. Our priority was to see what places would be acceptable for future retreats for our Regional Missionaries. The perk that came with that excursion was the joy of seeing places and people unknown to us.
We happened upon a small village in the interior of Panama. It was called El Valley (pronounced El Vai e). It was quaint. While sitting down for coffee, we noticed the people living there had a care free attitude, and were seemingly happy. We spent some time in the main market area and learned about their talents and gifts of creative expression.
We were so blessed. It was more than we expected. It was definitely an unexpected treat, and it happened because James loves to search out the places that are out of the way.
Our adventure really began earlier that day…at lunch time. We were pulling away from a resort park and saw a sign “X-S RV Park & Restaurant”. It was tucked away off the beaten path and it didn’t look like much from the sign. Signs don’t always tell the whole story. We decided to check it out.
The little restaurant welcomed us with the tropical birds and goats that were apparently very domesticated. It was quaint and hardly any people. We see by the menu board they served Panamanian fare which has become our preference. We sat down and talked to the waitress in as much Spanish as possible and ordered our food. While were waiting to eat, we noticed they had English books for sale (real cheap). Being book people James and I checked them out. The one book shelf was near this couple. We noticed them when we first arrived but didn’t pay too much attention. When James went over to the books the young man approached him and just said hi. He and his girlfriend spoke English…wow great. Conversation!!! As we began to talk they began to share their story. Their immediate need was to find very cheap accommodations in Panama City. They were from B.C. and were traveling to South America by van, and needing to ship there van to South America and resume there travels from there. We didn’t know how to help them with their accommodation needs as we didn’t know the prices and where to find a good deal like that just off the top of our heads. We told them we would ponder their questions while we had our lunch.
James and I returned to our seat. We both felt an instant connection with Moreno and Ashley. They seemed to be very sincere, and we sensed had a genuine need. We sat in silence for a while, both pondering how can we help them. Finally, I made a suggestion to James. “Honey, why don’t we invite them to stay with us?” He was thinking the same thing. Accommodations in the city were very expensive and we love having people stay with us. They are young and vibrant and have a real love for life. We sensed that we would not be in error to invite them to stay. We both agreed, let’s go and make them an offer.
We approached them asking them if they would like to stay with us. They were so overwhelmed. They didn’t know what to say. We made them an offer they couldn’t refuse. And it only took them a couple of seconds to say yes!!!
Wow again!!!! Now we were really excited. We don’t know these young adults from Adam, yet it was obvious the Lord directed out path.
Monday morning we met them on the outskirts of Panama City and took them to our home.
To make a long story short, we have made life long friends. They are like extended family now and we are so thankful for the Lord to give us such an opportunity. Who would have known we can do missions to Canadians in Latin America.
This is a long story to share life lessons that James and I are desiring to make a life goal.
Take a risk…with people, experiences, new friendships. The rewards from this have been so incredible. Even though it seems we are the ones giving, we have found that we gain so much more in return. At the time I write this blog, they are still with us. We are so honored that they are staying, and we know that Moreno and Ashley are welcome in our home anytime. They in turn have given us the same invitation.
We are so honored that God would trust us with this moment. I can’t even imagine if we had just said to them, “Sorry can’t help you”. “You are on your own.”
We would have missed out on a wonderful, memorable, and God given blessing.
For many that would be too much of a risk. We think of it this way. If something bad was on their hearts to do to us, we know God would help us through it. We are not naïve to think that every one can be trusted, but I believe that God gives us discernment, and we have to trust His judgment. They are his kids too! All we have is the Lord’s so if God asks us to share it with strangers; you never know when you may be entertaining angels unaware!
Take a risk in your travels whether a road unknown or approaching a stranger in your midst. The reward can be priceless!
June 18, 2008
What’s on my mind…
…is what I mind …
I mind…
That I don’t know Spanish as well as I desire.
That I don’t feel that I accomplish enough in one day.
That time goes too fast and I forget to enjoy the moment.
That the ones I love I can’t see enough.
That my Children & Granddaughter live far away.
That I haven’t spoiled my kids more!!! (Spoiled with love, not things)
That my birthday is soon to be and I am too close to 50.
That shopping for clothes is more difficult as I get older, it seems like the sizing has changed!!
That wearing panty hose in the tropics is some times expected (should be classified as a sin).
That I spend too much time fretting and not enough time trusting.
That I can’t buy gifts for my girl friends more often.
That my Mom is gone to heaven and I can’t share my days with her.
That there are moments in a day when I take for granted the goodness of the Father.
That my husband and I didn’t know in our early years what we know about each other today.
That I didn’t take more time to teach my son the things I value the most.
That I don’t always take the opportunities that present themselves.
That I don’t share Christ as freely as when I was first born again.
That I have regrets at all.
That I don’t know all my extended family well.
That some of my family and friends don’t know Jesus as their Lord.
That I don’t let those I love in to that inner sanctum of my heart more often.
These are just a few thoughts that I share with you. My desire in sharing this limited list is to bring accountability to me to make some very specific changes in my life. I challenge you to make your list of the things you mind, and work to make the changes to your actions or reactions. It will bring you joy.
(This is not a list in order of their priorities in my life, just thoughts that have been on my heart)
May 31, 2008
First time in any country…what are my perceptions, feelings, memories, senses, delights….
We are in Trinidad Airport (Port of Spain) in transit from Barbados to Panama City (home). As I sit here I am reflecting on our week in a country neither of us has visited. We both have different senses about our time there, but I want to take you through my journey of Barbados; my lens.
Let’s take a walk…
…We arrived in Barbados in the evening of May 22, 2008. We were instantly picked up by an authorized taxi of the country. They are very specific about who can collect passengers from the airport, not just any taxi.
The ride from airport to Hotel was not that interesting. We were in the back of the van and it was quite dark. My prayer throughout the ride was “Will they have us booked in our room properly. “ When you travel as much as we do, you do not take anything for granted. We arrived at the Blue Horizon in a very short time. We couldn’t figure out why they called it the Blue Horizon, nevertheless we arrived. We stepped to the front desk. There is always the issue of how to spell our name. This was not the trouble this time. Our soon discovered issue was that the person taking care of registration to this Conference Hotel neglected to book us for our whole stay. I was quite anxious…and her first response to us was “We are fully booked”. Great…now what do we do…I kept saying to James in my detail administrative personality, that I should have clarified and reconfirmed our booking!!! Why didn’t I do that? Very soon after she said something that was a real answer to my prayer…”We are going to give you an upgrade to accommodate the error in the booking”. That really blew me away…that was the last thing I expected to have happen…My thought was how do we find another hotel…but in short order we had our keys in hand and to our room we went.
Our first days in Barbados were designated to the conference and pre conference meetings. My expectations of any thing else were very low. Yet shortly after James’ first meeting with the executive he said he was free. Yeah!!!
One nice thing we did happen to notice in coming to the Hotel the night before was that the beach was directly across from us…another yeah!!!
So when James’ arrived back from his meetings we hit the beach…we had not experienced a beach of this quality since our time in the Seychelles. We were both delighted and blessed to enjoy another facet of Barbados. We stepped onto the warm white sand and just stood in awe of the magnificent picture that engaged our eyes. The turquoise clear water and the wind that made white caps on the waves along with the water hitting the beach, was saying to us “Come on in”. Eventually our feet and then our entire being were abandoned to the sea of the Caribbean. Who could resist!
To the neglect of everything else we stayed most of the day enjoying the warmth of the Caribbean sun…it is very hot, but it didn’t keep us from sitting in the shade and watching the people of Barbados live their lives. We noticed that the proprietors of the beach were very careful to make sure you were comfortable…if you wanted a lounge chair, or umbrella, or food or anything else they were there to make it happen…of course they like the financial remuneration that comes with it…but all in all they were very hospitable.
The next day was the beginning of the full conference. We were anxious to join with the Pastors and leaders of the Pentecostal Assemblies of the West Indies, known as PAWI.
We soon discovered they loved to be organized and every one in their right spot and given all they would need to enjoy the conference. The fact that everyone spoke English was a first blessing. We then enjoyed meeting persons after persons of different churches, ministry experience and leadership status.
We soon were introduced to a couple, Adrian and Eudine Banfield. They minister in Grenada West Indies. I didn’t recognize them at first, but their name caught my attention. Then over breakfast one morning my jaw started to drop as they shared their story. What was the surprise and to my utter amazement is they attended Hi-Way Tabernacle the church in Portage La Prairie, MB, in the 70’s. The very church I attended after giving my heart to Jesus as a teenager. We put it all together and both realized who each other was…I couldn’t believe it…what a hoot of laughter and shear delight. God is so good. Who would have dreamed people who were influential in my life back in the day, would come right back into my life without any human intervention. God blessed me richly that day.
But that was not the end of my blessings…
…A few days later at an evening rally with the conference delegates a white lady approached me. She did so mainly because there were only us 3 white people there. She said her name was Kathleen. As we began chatting and sharing stories another amazing moment unfolded. Kathleen began sharing that she grew up in Penticton B.C. I quickly asked her what church she attended. She said “Bethel Pentecostal Church”. My heart was racing, could this be another divine moment from the past? The story grew more interesting as we continued to talk. I shared with her some of the people that really ministered to me, and were really instrumental in my getting saved. One of the people that I mentioned turned out to be this ladies mother. And Kathleen too was at the church in girls club the same time I was there.
Wow!!! I was overwhelmed with thankfulness to the Lord. This meeting meant so much to me. This lady didn’t know just how much her mother meant to me. Her mother faithfully rode with me on the Sunday school bus every Sunday. Sister Beagle always cried about how much Jesus loved her and had mercy on her life. Jesus radiated from that woman. Kathleen said that her mother had passed away, but she confirmed all my memories of her.
Memories of the past that really influenced my life makes me very aware of being faithful as one who goes before….and truly they were and are faithful.
God gave me rich blessings this week, why I am not sure, but I thank him for it. It also reminds me that the people of God are everywhere and we are truly a family.
That wraps up the highlights of our time in Barbados…I could go on and on, but this blog is already too long…
…Catch up with you on the next one!
Touched by Jesus…
Colleen
What to expect from the unexpected…
…It happens to most of us at one time or another!
Since James and I made the commitment to do missions in Latin America and Caribbean, we have come face to face with the unexpected many times. Now I need to clarify that not all unexpected is negative. Some of these unexpected moments have been so rewarding and over the top with grace and mercy from the Father. It’s the negative ones that I think I need to work on….
….so what is really going on? We have faced many road blocks to the plans of being residence in Panama City, Panama. We often presume that when God specifically calls you to a specific place for a specific time and reason that he makes the roads straight and the valleys high and the mountains low…like Isaiah discovered. However, we are in this world therefore we will face trials of various kinds. For us it has seemed like one after another. People that came to us via reference became unreliable; things required of us administratively stretched us to the max, and then the climax we were challenged to the core in our physical being. The ordinary became extraordinary when the insurance company that we working with demanded we go above and beyond the usual health check out and ended up with James having a biopsy. Wow…that really took me by surprise. It seems like nothing here in this realm is simple, and yet in so many other things, God has blown us away with his amazing provision and supply of even the tiniest detail.
We have come to expect that God is really in control and when things don’t go the way you think they should, it’s for a reason. Some of the reasons for our challenges have been to make us realize that we are in a fight and that the enemy does not want us in God’s will, and he will do anything to try and make it seem otherwise. We have learned to expect that when we seek first the Kingdom of God …all things are added unto us. It just may take a while. We have come to expect that when we are challenged to the core, God will guide us through it, and show us his way and his navigation skills. I know there are more unexpected moments coming. In knowing this I can expect His peace; that I can expect to never be alone in it, and I can expect others are praying.
Unexpected circumstances can be the greatest blessing if we are expecting God to be in them.
Don’t give up…
Sharing my heart….Colleen Guskjolen
It has been a while since I have connected with my blog. Please forgive my delays.
Many things have been going on to get ready to return to Panama. We are on route as I write this today.
My heart is heavy as I once again say good-bye to our children and extended family and great friends. On one hand I am so excited about what God is doing in our Region of Latin America and the Caribbean, and it has become home. However, the pang of my heart as I say my good-byes especially to our children is very difficult.
Why?? First of all even though the call is indelible in my heart and being, the human Mother and Granny in me say that I don’t want to miss out on their lives.
How do I overcome the sadness and relinquish myself to what we are to do?
I believe the Father is always one step ahead of us, that’s why He is our Sovereign Lord and Master. He knew what I would go through today, and yet he says,” I will not change the plan to compensate for the pain, but I will be with you and give you my presence and peace and assurance that you will see them again and that will be ok.” In the midst of my tears and ache what does that look like…as I have been traveling through the airports every time I see a little person I think…oh to just hold Taija-Lynn one more time. And yet God’s promise is very real and he is to me what he promises. In fact this last while I have been stuck (a good stuck) on a verse of scripture in Hosea chapter 2. It talks about the pain of transition. Hosea understood it very well, and God ministered to him and through him to bring much good for his own life as well as the life of Israel. It has touched the very core of my being. God has done his part and now I must do my part. Receive what he has promised, be intentional about making that foremost in my thinking and when I miss them more than I think I can take, I know I can cry out to the Lord and he gets it. He is ever present in times of trouble.
I realize in my relationship with the Father, I don’t have to put on a good front. I don’t have to be all tough and resilient to pain. I can be fragile and have moments when the tears come and there is no shame in this. I am not a better missionary for not being real. I believe in fact while I write this that some of you understand exactly what I feel like. It’s in being real with God and with others that we are healed or ministered unto.
Take it from a new Grandma, there is no life like it, but remember we are still God’s children with a work to do, and not to give up.
Sharing what’s on my heart….
I hope it comforts yours…..
Colleen Guskjolen
What’s been on my mind…?
….It was raining in our condo!
My beloved husband James is so kind to do things around our condo that I ask of him.
I had finally bought some curtain rods and curtains for our laundry room and kitchen. So today was the day. The project was being put together, the tools were coming out, and while I was in the kitchen fixing supper, I was pleased to have him working in the room right next to me. I could here the cords being plugged in, the tools being pulled out and the master was ready to work. Then without warning I hear this loud voice shout “Oh NO!!!” I ran from the kitchen sink and looked at James. He was standing on the ladder watching as his worst fear came upon him he hit a main water pipe with the drill. Our laundry room floor soon began to fill up with water. Questions rush out our mouths --where to shut this water off? And where is this water coming from? Without hesitation even with the rain coming in my home with no umbrella, I go looking for the care taker who only speaks Spanish. It’s amazing how much Spanish comes out of your mouth when you have an emergency.
So I finally find Juan, the caretaker and drag him to our condo to show him our water problem. He looks up and shakes his head, his only way he could help us was to show us where to turn the water off. Thank the Lord. However, we still needed a plumber.
We had one more token in our pocket. We had a prior situation in our condo that demanded we have a plumber and electrician. After a few calls we found our friend the plumber. He was on the way, and by the time I write this blog he has repaired the leak, and will return in the morning to fix the ceiling, bless his heart. (It’s a lot of work when you are dealing with cement.)
Rain in the condo is not a usual circumstance. We don’t expect to have water falling from our ceilings. And if it happens we don’t like it, never mind think that God will use it as an opportunity to minister some way some how. But I know the Father does.
I have to share that immediately as I see the “rain come down “(and I use the term rain because we don’t have control over the rain) great peace filled my heart.
I knew my heavenly Father is about to shift into care mode and make sure he is my help and sustainer and very present in a time of trouble. It would have been easy to panic, get angry or to just sit and cry and add my tears to the already buckets of water. None of which would help the situation. I believe God will use all our circumstances for His good and His glory if we let him and we don’t get in his way. You see the last time this plumber came to our house and fixed some things, we had a really good time talking and sharing. But James and I both felt like we need and would like another opportunity to see him and maybe somehow minister the love of Christ. How do you get a plumber to come to your home? Do a rain dance!!! Just kidding!!! Bad joke…in reality pray that God would make a way and then watch him work. Sometimes his work causes me inconvenience and my being displaced in my kitchen for an evening.
We desire so much to see the Lord work in the lives of others, and yet when he does it if we are not looking we will only see it as a trial instead of a trail to lead others to him.
Next time you have rain in your condo or home or life….think about what the Lord may want to do, and then rest in Him to bring it to pass. I am trying hard to see what God’s doing in all my circumstances…divine delays and all.
…Trust what’s on my mind challenges yours!
What’s on my mind…?
…That your mind can read!
Lately in a bible study that James and I are attending we have looked at scriptures concerning divine delays. Why do I label them divine? I believe the Father in his Sovereignty allows situations or circumstances to be delayed. It is an interesting topic, because for the most part it goes against everything that our society strives against, and works hard to avoid. Not that anyone has any control over all delays, especially God ordained ones, but it is something we don’t schedule into our day planners.
My interest in this topic is two fold, my reaction to divine delays, and what fruit can come from them if I don’t strive against what I ultimately can’t control.
The scripture we examined was in Nehemiah chapters 1 and 2 where Nehemiah after hearing the very excruciating news about Judah was in utter despair and yet for four months he was unable to say or do anything about the matter until God opened the door. And when God did, He opened it wide. There are many other instances in the Word that we could look at, and I am not going into the details of the study. My desire is to challenge us to allow this principle to affect our everyday lives.
In examining my reaction to delay of any kind, I find that I tend to first of all try all I can to remedy the matter. Then if I am in good form spiritually, the Father often graciously allows me insight into the matter and I realize that the delay is a gift from God; even if I don’t understand all the angles on the onset. Once I realize that the delay is out of my control, I have a choice to make. I can both rest and still do my part; (my part would consist of intercession for the matter and making sure that if I can do something that I should not procrastinate) or I can worry, fret, get others involved that don’t belong in the situation or get angry. In the latter instance I end up paralyzed to hear or discern. Unfortunately I have been guilty of the latter more times than I like to admit.
The part I am asking the Lord to help me with is the “rest” part. I know that when I “rest”, and yet still do as I am guided, I am free. Free of responsibility of the outcome and free from the anxiety and all that goes with that.
When I “rest” in the Lord’s sovereignty and the divinity of the delay, I have seen marvelous fruit come to pass; fruit in the situation, fruit in my life, and fruit in the lives of others. What do I mean by fruit? I have seen the Lord actually spare our lives because of a divine delay! (Long story!) I have witnessed the Lord allow the outcome to be even better than expected due to a delay. I have discovered a depth to relationships because of my “rest” in the Lord. They see the Father in me, instead of me. I have experienced great inner peace in “resting” during the delay.
This discussion commands a question–why? Why can you and I rest, when things are out of control, and it may appear like they are out of God’s control? We can rest when we sincerely believe, trust and depend on God. That has been the key in “resting” in the delay! If I really believe God is Sovereign over the kingdoms of men, as the Word declares, then I can and must “rest”. The fruit is a motivator, and the need for peace on a moment to moment basis is crucial.
My challenge to myself and to you is this…when you face your next delay, check out whether it’s a divine situation not just tardiness on your part, and then put these principles into action. You will be amazed at how different life can be in some of the most stressful times in your life.
“Resting in Him”
Colleen Guskjolen
What’s on my mind these days…?
I’ve been in Panama just over a month, and I have learned so much about living overseas again, about myself, and about life with God.
I forgot how great it was to nest and to set up our home. We have enjoyed living in our condo. It is a real joy after being married 27 years (this past Valentine’s Day), that now I finally have a taste about what I like in a home. It’s securing to know what you like, and I don’t have to waiver due to other’s taste or opinions.
This has led me to realize what I have learned about myself. For a long time, I always depended on other people’s ideas, convictions, and desires. I didn’t ever know what I wanted or desired or was convicted about. I worried so much about what other people thought about me that I didn’t listen to my own heart and mind. Security in your own choices and desires makes you free. You don’t have to criticize others for your lack or your gain. You don’t have to brag about what you have or don’t have. You know the things that matter to you and what has made you look at life like you do and not apologize for it.
When it comes to my relationship with God, for many years I let others determine my convictions my habits and my calling. That would probably seem odd to some of you who know me so well, because I seem so strong willed and determined. That has only come with years. It has come with being at the depths of your own well of life and trying to figure out what is God really saying and what is he is not saying. When I got sick over 5 years ago, I thought my life in the Lord was over. I was unproductive, I didn’t speak much, I didn’t sing, I could barely go to church. I felt that I was such a failure with the Lord. But what I didn’t realize is that God used this time and is still using it, to shape me. I got to know God; in the secret place. Not in activity but in the stillness. I got to trust Him in the times of paralysis. In the times when I didn’t hear his voice, I just knew his presence. These have been valuable years, but I didn’t understand it, until I came to Panama. Strange how taking you out of the “ norm”, and putting in you in a place of total dependence on God stretches you and pushes you to find out what is really going on and what you really want out of life, living and God.
That is kind of what’s been on my heart these days. It’s good to journal your thoughts and expose them to others.
The other joy in my life is our children, Josh and his wife Tyla and their beautiful daughter Taija-Lynn. She is growing so fast. When ever I see pictures of her, I think she is so alive and ready to learn and grow. I miss her and her parents more than words can say.
Thanks for praying for me, and thanks for all your encouragement throughout the years.
Full of life and lovin’ it…
Colleen
What’s on my mind….
…Granny
hood!
Christmas and Granny hood is synonymous
with someone
being spoiled! That someone you
may have guessed is our new baby grand daughter Taija-Lynn
Guskjolen. She has not worked for my love, she has not earned
her spoiling rank; she just is. Just by the fact that she
exists I love to spoil her. I have spoiled her a little at
this age, but she has yet to experience the real spoiling of
a loving Grandma. I can’t wait. I look forward to taking her
to Gap kids, Lasenza Girl, and some of the shops that sell
all the bling, bling that we as women love to wear. I don’t
know if she is even going to like to shop, but I am going to
give my best shot to give her a taste of the girly girl life
style.
You may think, wow she is only a month old. Don’t get ahead
of yourself Granny. You may be right, but just as I think of
my total endless no exception kind of love for Taija-Lynn, I
think of my heavenly Father. His love for me, I am realizing,
is even more than how I love Taija-Lynn. I can’t wrap my head
around that, but He says he loves me with everlasting love.
He loves me, not based on what I do, but who I am. He is not
happy when I don’t obey him, but his love doesn’t change. In
fact, I have experienced and scriptures bear it out, that the
Father accelerates his love actions when I do mess up.
He promised to discipline me when I am in error. Then I would
know I am not an illegitimate child. Wow…that rocks my world.
To think that my disobedience causes God to act in such a way
that I would know and not doubt that I am loved my Him.
When I think of Taija-Lynn growing up…I don’t want her to
think she can get away with doing any thing she wants. That’s
not spoiling her…that’s showing her that I don’t love her.
She, without even knowing it, needs me to be consistent with
her parents’ rules. When we are on the same page with her
discipline, she will have a consistent love that doesn’t
change. She will not be insecure about who loves her nor will
she be insecure about her self-worth.
Sometimes growing up, I did find myself being insecure,
because I didn’t have an example that was consistent like the
Father’s love for me. This whole fatherly love that is
endless is toward me, is overwhelming for me. I am learning
every day how to receive the Father’s love and how to pass it
along. I want to exemplify that
love to Taija-Lynn. I want her
to know my love, but ultimately I want her to know the love
of her Heavenly Father.
November 19, 2007
T9 is on My Mind
I
had a great moment with my married son, Joshua the other day.
We are always talking about electronics and computers and
stuff. He loves to share his wisdom with his tech challenged
Mom.
We were sharing about our text messages and how they often
take time and for me and were more difficult in some
situations. Josh was able to show me a cool thing that I had
not realized. For all whom use text messaging, you will know
there is a T9 option on the phone. I had shied away from
it due to its perceived complication, but when Joshua
finished explaining things to me, I had a new and easy way to
text. He said that texting with T9 is actually faster because the computer in
the phone thinks for you or anticipates what you are thinking
and wanting to say. Interesting! A computer can actually
interpret my thoughts and words.
Well, it may not be that accurate, but the analogy that came
to me when I had finished my text lesson was that God is like
this with us. He knows our needs, he knows our words, and he
is our heavenly Father who anticipates what is going to
happen in our lives.
Shortly after this illustration came to me, I was reading in
Exodus 17, and there is a verse there that really ministered
to me. This is what it said, “I will stand there before you
by the rock at Horeb”. In my illustrative terms God is saying
I will T9 you at the rock at Horeb.
The context of this scripture puts Moses at the moment God
told him to strike the rock and water will come out for the
children of Israel to drink. This was a real anxious time for
Moses. The children of Israel were really angry that Moses
had taken them out of Egypt. Out of security, familiarity,
and provision, even though Pharoah’s whole intention was to
destroy them. Moses was surrounded by quarreling angry
people. He needed help right now. God in his faithfulness and
all knowingness anticipated Moses needs and the needs of
Israel. He gave Moses implicit instructions and told him how
he would provide for his people miraculously. Moses had to
believe that God would do what he said he would do…he had to
believe that God would actually go there before him by the
rock at Horeb, and when he struck the rock the water indeed
would come out.
Moses had a T9 moment.
He experienced the Father’s
anticipatory actions first hand. I challenge you today. Check
out how many times you see the Father anticipate
circumstances for you. How many times he goes before you and
is in fact already there when you get there.
With T9 on my mind,
Colleen
August 28, 2007
What’s been on my mind…?
W H I T E S P A C
E
What am I talking about? James and I just
spent 10 days at Transitions in Toronto (conference for new
and used Missionaries). During that conference the moderators
stressed people’s need for time out, for intentional rest
times, in other words “white
space”. Time that
you strategically take to get refreshed, filled up, or
refueled. You would think when you get to schedule your own
schedule that creating “white
space” would be
easy. Just make time! However, people who run their own
schedule usually are type A, or are consumed to get things
done now, not tomorrow. Procrastination does not exist.
We talked at
length about how to make “white
space” happen. We
shared many different personal experiences and different
scenarios. All good, yet the bottom line is when do you get
“white
space”? When can
you schedule it, create it to be set in stone without the
guilt or the urgent to not over take it?
I want to take a
moment to be accountable to you. I am going to be intentional
in making “white
space” a weekly
discipline. There are many demands on our life at present. We
are traveling full time, we are sharing and speaking our
passion for missions, we are totally focused to do the Call.
Yet I know that to be effective in all those areas I need to
be intentional to create “white
space”. My plan
with the help of Holy Spirit is to identify a time in my week
for my
“white
space”. Then I want
to make sure that I am not just taking time to rest. I want to fill that
time with solitude, with laughter (maybe a funny movie, or
book), with shopping for a pair of shoes, or going for coffee
at my favorite coffee place. Productive “white space” must be
personal.
How about you? What is your plan with a busy fall ahead of
you? Have you made plans for “white
space”, or are you
just interested in getting the plans and demands completed?
You can wait until all is done, but I have discovered that
intentional “white
space” during your schedule is better than a marathon and
then crashing at the end.
Whatever your choice, take the “white
space” challenge,
you’ll be amazed how it will take away the blues!
PS…We spent some time in Panama at the beginning of August
and I will share about that next time.
Colleen
What’s up
with that…
July 30,
2007
…It always amazes me how God takes care of everything for us
even before we ask. I have been dwelling on his provision for
us over the years. He has shown himself to be faithful and
fatherly. The fatherly part has especially been of keen
interest to me. When we feel that family or friends don’t
know what we need, or are unable to meet our needs we can
become discouraged and look to them as a source that fails.
The Lord had to show me that He is my Father and He
will
take care of me and that
I can
trust him with my whole life.
Let me share with
you just a few potent incidents. We had just married and
James and I were planting a new church in rural Saskatchewan.
We were so excited, not because they offered a huge salary or
a great benefit package, but that we were called to go and we
wanted so much to be obedient regardless of our needs. The
Faithful and Fatherly God we serve came through for us many
times. On one particular occasion we found an anonymous
envelope in our mail box with enough money for new tires. The
cost of the tires at that time was the sum of our entire
months salary. I was so thankful and my heart was so full
because God laid on someone’s heart our
need and they were obedient.
In our next place of ministry the Father provided great
friends and a real sense of family. Little did we know how we
would be challenged and faced with trials. We really needed
these great friends to encourage us and pick us up during
some really challenging times. I am very pleased to tell you
those people are still our very close and dear friends.
When we moved to Africa as missionaries in 92’ his faithful
and fatherly ways did not fail us. One of the most astounding
times was when I was to go home to Canada because I was not
well. We had no money for the plane ticket but somehow I got
on the flight after someone guaranteed the fact that when I
arrived in Canada I would have $3800.00
to pay for my ticket. I will be
honest; I wasn’t sure how this was going to turn out. My
heart was doing flip flops and my anxiety levels were trying
to over take me. Yet my Father had it all in hand before I
was even home. Upon my arrival to Canada I was greeted with
an envelope containing 38 100 dollar bills. I wept. When
James and Joshua returned home from Africa, that blessing
helped to fund their plane ticket as well. It didn’t end
there. My Father saw fit to find us a place to live, furnish
it to last detail, and to provide for us a car.
Our Father is
concerned
about the details; big
and
small ones. I hope this somehow
brings a smile to your face and courage in your heart to know
that same faithfulness and fatherliness is there for you. By
the way just so you know, the Father has already gone ahead
of us to Latin America and the Caribbean. ---Yeah!!!
July 4,
2007
…I am in a strange time in my life. I have no home to scrub,
no groceries to buy, no toilets to clean. If I sound a bit
relieved, it’s because in a way I am. The cool thing about
all this is that it is preparation for our major transition
to Latin America and the Caribbean. Change for some can sound
like a dirty word, but for me it has been exciting. Change
challenges me to the very core of my being, like making
decisions about the future based solely on faith. This is a
reality I am learning to enjoy. In change comes the
opportunity for a lot of first’s. My first time going to
Panama; first time meeting the missionaries in the region;
first time leaving a grandbaby (that will be a hard one);
first time speaking trying to speak Spanish. What makes
“first’s” palatable is that by the time you get to the
first’s God let’s you know that he has gone before you so
that He is there “first”. Your trust factor grows in leaps
and bounds. There are many things yet to change but what is
so incredible is that God has given me contentment for the
moment and his peace for the future. For those of us who are
nurtures and nesters this is truly a work of grace.
Talk to you next week!
